tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329596122024-03-23T11:02:11.512-07:00upsidedown houseWith a consciousness towards reusing materials, "alternative" energy and not going in debt this Detroit Anarchist shares an adventure of living in and rehabbing a really messed up house in an interesting part of the city. Expect ridiculous encounters, strange lessons, ideas, and updates at least weekly.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-7280485493635521272007-07-15T09:24:00.000-07:002007-07-15T11:11:14.618-07:00the equilibrium of the whole rests in all it's partsSo where you been upsidedownhouse?<br /><br />After the June work day... I've been too tired. The baby goats at the farm next door ate my notebook. I became an etymologist, specializing in blue-eyed sicatas. It's my car, my girlfriend, my nephew, it's been too hot, I was lost in a dream of music, I've only been writing poems, I was was picking berries out in the yard, I've been drunk, I had to cut the grass! Dick Cheney made me stop. I swear, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give up blogging!!<br /><br />Anyway, trying to be funny because humor in hard times is healthy and that is where I've been, "curling up like smoke above my shoulder" -Cohen. Blogger, <strong><a href="http://greaterdetroit.wordpress.com/<br />" target="_blank">greater detroit</a></strong> helped ease my concerns about dropping out though, suggesting it's more of a winter activity anyway. Yea, like painting houses is more of a summer activity, true enough. And that's another activity I've had taking up my time since the work day months ago, hard at work someplace or another, mostly painting and trying to spend Saturdays upsidedown and dirty.<br /><br />Since then though I've discovered <strong><a href="http://www.cbc.ca/radio2/blog/2007/03/28/tonight_on_the_signal.html/<br />" target="_blank">The Signal</a></strong> on CBC radio 2, for me replacing Liz Copeland's WDET late night show. It's really good radio, and has helped me feel inspired again, check it out. Also,<strong><a href="http://www.wdetfm.org/detroittoday//<br />" target="_blank">Detroit Today</a></strong> on WDET I hate to admit has been pretty cool. <br /><br />Should be another post soon.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-68794761293591763062007-05-08T14:10:00.000-07:002007-05-08T14:39:41.111-07:00It's On! WORK DAY June 3rdcalling all cars, no. comrades....no. Comanchees? no. <br />friends! pleaz come over Sunday June 3rdto a workday & bbq @ the "upsidedown house". I could use your help and will repay with food and booze the day of & the night before!! RSVP <br />Saturday night partay<br />Sunday get down and dirty 10-6 <br /><br />I've had a month to consider the changes at WDET and the state of the city, and currently I say, fuck it. IT's stupid and not what I am fighting for, and I'm certainly not going to give up what "I am for" to fight against right now. Be it the the city nor the Wayne State board of governors. It truly is not the end of the world, at least not immediately. <br /><br />I will not worry so much. There is good and there is not so good and sometimes one is acutely aware of how stupid people are and that is usually bad. I just have to feed my drive and keep going. If you leave our city, please be well. I think I can handle it again. If you stay, pace yourself, but commit, so not to be a distraction. There is a lot of fun but also work to be done! Having said that after years of invovlment I quit my collective projects for an indefinite period, am going to the woods for 2 weeks(Porcupine mountains)and upon return recommitting to the house and my love of life! I feel excited again, even though I still see the city as crazy ruins and the same old top down decision making strong as ever, as ever.<br /><br />How can one live stuck in a rut though, that's more like survival (if that)and I still want to live. Who knows what this new time will allow for, beyond making sure I am consistently working on the house. I know I have many street art ideas, miss playing music like mad and would like to help here and there with booking shows, so it will no doubt be a challenge to really focus on the house, but that is the plan. I hope to be a better writer, which means I have to write more and in the future I plan on reworking this blog and maybe moving the site plus dividing it into 3 categories: poetry, politics, the project (the house). Maybe by the time I have been writing here for a year I will assess and make the necessary changes and shift my priority to writing? Who knows? That is what I will leave you with...who knows?the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-21357965392474150592007-04-08T19:43:00.000-07:002007-04-16T09:14:10.766-07:00Fear, Compromise, Capitalism, and WDET -Pt.2<span style="font-style:italic;">Fed to the wolves.<br /></span><br />I know I am not the only one upset by what's happening at WDET lately, and it might appear of little consequence compared to what's happening in the city as a whole:more school closures, the constant stories of violence(and my own encounters), more suspicious fires and the continued destruction of green space. All that has got me down lately, but I consider this a serious blow. I've said it before, music is what keeps me going, it's the thing nearest to my heart's beat, so with local dj's music programming so seriously attacked last week, I took it hard. Listening to CJAM now, that is when I can get it in, makes me want to move to Canada, seriously. <br /><br />I am not even sure what it's about since no notice or information was provided on the DET website last week, when it mattered, and I have yet to check out the MT to see if they have the scoop. It appears obvious enough though, the music(locals) goes and national programming stays. Whatever the station has done, it has certainly validated those who protested a year or so ago when our only Detroit NPR station fired so many dj's and apparently left the other half til now. To me WDET's turning it's back on the community, again, and the attack on the music is akin to the developers who bulldoze the green spaces so the can build-they take from us irrespective of what we need, because they can and that is how they will survive. Acres of old dense trees stands, the ones bordering Rosa Parks from MLK to Grand River I am specifically thinking of, will never be ridden through again, just like I will not hear Liz Copeland, W. Kim Heron, Mick Collins, Ralph Valdez, Michael Julian, Chuck Horn, nor Robert Jones again. Though, to be accurate Reverend Jones has survived this round of cutbacks, but I'll not be hearing him either; his new slot is Sundays 6 am to 8 am as of today. Happy Easter Reverend Jones... <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Fucked over.</span> <br /><br />Up until February when I got electricity in my place, especially alone at night, it was the local DET dj's on my shitty battery powered radio that kept me company. There was no listening to cd's, old tapes, and vinyl and reading by candle light was too much, so it was just the radio and my thoughts on long dark and often bitter cold nights, and I was thankful. SO, just like when I rode through, even drove by those stands of trees feeling like there is hope and this is what makes Detroit a healthy place to live, sometimes I would listen to a show and know that the culture and history of our city's music is still alive. Of course it was not perfect, but I listened and gave it props because the dj's gave me hope.<br /><br />Getting rid of most of the local dj's reminds me of what's been happening somewhere else too, in NOLA lately. In Detroit we said it, (acknowledging the differences too), but Detroit has had our Katrina happening for decades now. I can not see any other explanation other than they want us out. The people who are trying to rebuild and survive in the neighborhoods are a problem when it comes to making large profits. The things that are good for the long time residents and the ones who have a sense of what we need to feel whole must go. IF you believe me wrong, PLEASE respond, because I am happy to state my case.<br /><br /> <span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Offered scraps and told it's the only thing, while you see the lavish meal layed out before your very eyes.</span> <br /><br />The other reason this pisses me off so much is not that a station challenged financially has chosen to go the way of more national programming as it is supposedly less expensive, but the way they have upped their spots to give them money ahead of the upcoming fundraiser. They knew we would be pissed and are trying to manipulate us with spots that talk about how much we learn on WDET and should value this...service. Excuse me, I need to appreciate what? Never owning up to what they have done. It's so obvious. It's so devious and manipulative. It's so...corporate. <br /><br />I got an idea. How about rather than give everyone the boot there is some discussion in the community as to what some of the possible solutions to the problems are? It's advertised as a community station right? Why not go the way of a volunteer army of local DJ's (even if just from WSU) that are not paid, and slim down on the paid management while you're at it. Too late. And, PLEASE, just to mention regarding some of the new programming, take that new money and finance show off before someone gets hurt, seriously. It's local, but it will not touch the issue of class with a ten foot poll, so I'd call that one a program for the new Detroiters and an insult to boot. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"one fine day, when i'm strong enough, i'll stand up out of this chair and walk away"nomeansno </span><br /><br />While the weather last week indicated that it is indeed Spring, regardless of cold nights, how quickly the tables turn. I shaved my beard and head ready to meet the change head on (no pun intended)rather than wait for it to get to me first, ah burned again. I was so wrong, and now so confused. Am I less ready for changes this drastic than I previously had been? I feel like I used to be ready to adapt and flex like a long piece of bamboo. One piece in a clump of bamboo born to grow like grass and be more useful, inspiring and full of mystery than most humans will ever realize. Regardless of all that, as the song goes "if you ain't ready, you betta git ready", but i'm thinkin', no,how about a change of scenery and weather altogether... <br /><br />My last blog entry ended with a cry to stay in Detroit and build a good life here, but just like the weather's harsh return, lately I have rather suddenly felt like the opposite and more like quitting Detroit. Quitting my collective projects, quitting this city, quitting the life I have been living for nearly 10 years here and beyond that. When I lived in Arcata it was really just to prepare myself for what I wanted to do here. I apologize for this fit, but I am dumbfounded at the amount of harsh reality that is hurled somewhere in my general direction lately, but seems to always end up right on my lap. Indeed it seems to be saying "it's going to get worse before it gets better". All I know is I need a break. <br /><br />This city gets fucked over and over and in turn the people end up learning that's the way it's done and do it to others, how American. A bunch of sweet talk and than nothing but abuse. No, how just like the USA, not America. The Americas are not the home to Capitalism, but this country is, no matter how global it gets. The gears of the machine continue to turn, cycle after cycle. Detroit, the true "American" city, then and now. When will it end?the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-38233039333437496872007-04-01T14:42:00.000-07:002007-04-08T19:40:50.816-07:00Fear, Compromise,Capitalism, WDET-Pt . IMy ability to endure is being tested, and though it feels good to reflect here, it seems like a Sisyphian task to contain myself and present a coherent rant even. The sun is bright today, but to leave now is to favor illusion rather than confront the darkness I feel. In the end that only begets a greater unhappiness. There are many <br />issues that have me feeling so, but most of all in no uncertain terms, I am especially upset at Detroit. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">I feel like I am only human and to reveal so much calamity is too much for me to bear.</span><br /><br />Backing up a bit. See, I espouse an idea distilled from anarchism which somewhat insists on a "no compromise" notion of how I, and to some degree, others should live. A good example is "you don't bomb the people", period. Personally, I insist on living for a culture of togetherness that actually works for community, ie. the public... and I do not feel this is a radical or even utopian notion, but it is very different than the notion of what our NPR affiliate apparently feels about the P in it's acronym. We'll get to that little jab later on, for they are the true inspiration behind this rant. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Some days I wish to close my eyes and go away, while previously that has not been my disposition.</span><br /><br />Even though, to advocate folks be open minded and willing to explore our creative ability to transform our own lives and the institutions (in the face of capitalism) is considered unrealistic, it is a rather sane viewpoint. To me, it appears in the world as a whole-fear is kicking the crap out of love and the dominant capitalist institutions of our times bears the brunt of the blame for this violence. How is it not seen that it is a failure and that the fear that it promotes is no way to go on in life. Perhaps I am wrong, but I think our survival actually depends on fighting this aspect of what is. Though I have issue with his ideas of power, for sure Che said it best when he said "revolution, i act out of love", or something like that.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"Sometimes I dream about reality, sometimes I feel so down" Mr. Bobby by Manu Chao<br /></span><br /><br />So, what is all this mean Mr. Upsidedown? It means the changes that have been announced lately in this city have made me question my loyalty to it and all I am involved with. I feel like my ability to survive here is wearing thin and that's not good, because you need a good thick skin to endure the truth of what it means to live here. Not the 'I live in newly developed areas with security or in close proximity to areas where the police protect me' truth, but the truth that it's a desperate place to grow up in and perhaps even harder for some to try to stay here as an adult. Even having said that, how it is now I think is better than how it is going to be.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">I have been considering leaving the city I love because of what is going on, and that would indeed be a huge compromise.</span><br /><br />This place as of late makes me sick with fear, which is something I usually deal pretty well with. I fear the city will survive and transform itself, but it will be unrecognizable as a a place of potential and hope for something better, and recognizable as another terrible version of a place that converts the energy to believe in change, for the passive acceptance of what products are here for you; the lie that builds off the idea that if you want to go anywhere in life you better get in line. I thought we were better than that, but I am beginning to doubt that is what Detroit spirit is/was about. It feels like capitalism is being reembraced and the once suspicious face of privelege that is by and large white, is fading from our memory. "Embraced", perhaps not, more like we're on our knees and begging to appease the master. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Idealism has it's ups, but when you get depressed at the state of things, look out. <br /> </span><br />In general, I am involved with people who are engaged and doing and that helps, usually. And right now, while I feel my hope and excitement is being ripped from me, I am on the cusp of realizing that Detroit potential with two projects I have been involved with for years. They are of great inspiration to many, one regarding the intersection of urban land use in education and the other using popular education in creating new media models, both for raising up the voices of our youth, our future. With Detroit Summer, collective members embarked just yesterday on a tour of 5 cities with 10 passionate youth, who seem to have the vision and courage to take on the problems we face. I feel like I am betraying them writing like this, but I am wondering what new problems will we all face and why would we put that on them? <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"New York City, maybe you remind me of myself"- Gil Scott Heron<br /></span><br />It's madness, destroying green space here to build and building for the sake of building so that the economic imperative is satisfied. It's certainly not helping to keep me here. It's like human sacrifice and I can only bear witness so long before the upsurge in hope I felt just 2 weeks ago is stricken down by the forces that manage our affairs. So, if my hope turns to a callous pessimism and then disregard for my word, and words like "no compromise" for my vision, like working with youth turns to hoping that this place burns finally and for good, please escort me out of this city because I will be of no help any longer.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-54650899265079903052007-03-16T18:34:00.000-07:002007-03-18T18:43:41.837-07:00my first community meetingIt says "weekly updates" in the description of my blog (yea right), anyway here's a good one from a few days ago, finally.<br /><br />IF i ignore the ruthless militarism and other death machine called globalization, ever present in the outer world, on a more personal level, today was one of the good ones. There are good ones, bad ones and to be fair some that I just can't make up my mind about.<br /><br />Today was particularly good because after work I walked 1 block, just 1 block, to a community meeting. Which means that it is literally my community and that's sort of a big deal for me. As a radical type I go to some meetings, as a matter of fact, I'd say often. Considering it's possible I may just live the rest of my life here, a meeting in that context could be a deal breaker. As it turns out it was just the opposite. My first community meeting felt like the most real thing in the world and made me feel like 'I belong here'.<br /><br />Like I said, I go to some meetings, as do many of my good friends because those are the types of people I like to be around (actively engaging in solutions to our problems), and I've probably seen in my days some of the best, worst, hardest, most boring, baffling, infuriating and informative meetings as it gets, so coming into this one it was not so much I was prepared for the worst, but was wondering how it was going to be. Will it be organized or kinda all over the place? How long would it last? Who would be dominating the conversation? These were all thoughts I had in my short walk over. Never the less, I went in feeling relaxed, but left wholly energized.<br /><br />In the beginning the facilitator spoke a lot, but before I could grow concerned she acknowledged her time on the mic, while refusing to apologize? She was making a call out to rally our community and make things happen-refuse, resist and come together. With such sincerity and passion her enthusiasm broke through walls of caution and skepticism so that I immediately wanted to work with her, no, everyone. Not unlike a skilled politician she spoke, but really it was an activist that I heard. She used her power for much needed purposes. To bring us closer together as one of the other participants said, "that's why we're here right". I suppose you could call her a natural leader. <br /><br />Until recently "leader" was a word I associated with master (aka boss of me, aka fuck that), so it was seldom that I used that word in a positive manner. To be a good orator and to share convictions for sure is a healthy activity, it's just when people expect the payment of power for their ideas and voice (like in politics, religion, family or business) that is when the title "leader" comes out with contempt from my mouth. Indeed they are leading people, right into a mess. In a lost society such as ours though, one or many, who are able to light up a room with their enthusiasm is appreciated, because I am for "us" and would like to find my way out of this place together. That place is called a healthy community, not the "afterworld", as Prince calls it.<br /><br />The organizers of this meeting were the pastor and the CDC that works out of the church and they were on it. There was a brief agenda passed out to all, plus snacks and time for the 12 attendees to bring up what we wanted, along with our comments and questions as to the updates on the work that the CDC has been engaged in. Even the prayer at the end was short and interesting, and I'm not one for religion period. Rather than give an "amen" I said "thanks". The whole thing lasted just over an hour, they were shooting for just 45 minutes. Impressive.<br /><br />It was announced that after an amazing effort they had tracked down the current owner of a Brownfield almost directly across from the church. With two severely damaged and dangerous buildings on it, I've often dreamed of what good could be made out of them. We were told the current title holders were found in Chicago and had agreed to sign over the property so that the CDC could build a community center! Not just agreed, like sure, but that it was really in the works. Aware of what it meant to take this on, all the site cleanup and studies excitedly she asked that we be all be as involved as we would like. A community center kitty corner from the art park next to my house, I repeat, not some ugly new apartment building, or worse condo, but something I personally considered prior to this... how sweet is that. <br /><br />Out of that conversation we talked in general about the quality of our soil and the possibility of a nearby former Superfund site as an area we're not really certain to be safe and something to research. One of the folks said she had collected a massive amount of primary source material and other info. from back when all this was going down and was asked to lend it to a class, but was told later that is was not to be found. Sorry, it's just disappeared. Hmm. This was all by way of an organization I'll not name right now. Anyway, I personally will be looking into soil testing done by a friend and some students at CFA 4 or 5 years ago and perhaps do more of the same, maybe with help from the Garden Resource Program. If we are going for a healthy and safe community I think it is wise for us to start with what is actually in our soil.<br /><br />Another interesting conversation that was had concerned the scrappers who frequent our neighborhood and who apparently have created a smelter here. Oh great. This means the stolen aluminum, copper pipes or wire and whatever else can be had locally, has been going there where they get paid cash in hand! rather than making their way to a scrap yard across town. The person paying then can more easily transport it in a melted down form and I'm sure make more money too. I have seen fires on several occasions where they were just burning the coating off the wire, but to actually smelt it down sounds to me like someone is getting organized. <br /><br />The church had been hit pretty hard this winter and cost them at least a thousand dollars not to mention it cost me a few hours of frustrating labor as I repaired a part of the school's fence the scrappers had cut through for some reason. Rather than view these folks stealing from us and in reality plaguing the city as a whole, through a single dimensional viewpoint ala "arrest em", we talked about the possibility of employing them in some of our clean up efforts and that if we want to truly deal with any issues of crime in our community that most importantly we need to be out, active and together so that it is harder for scrappers and others to come in unnoticed and feel like no one cares enough here to do anything.<br /><br />We also talked about the potential for the police to both be helpful or oppressive. One woman told of a terrifying account which happened about a month ago where a black van with masked men jumped out of it while she was walking home. They questioned and searched her while their badges were turned around, a drug enforcement unit. She said "yea I am skinny and might look like I do drugs, which I do not, but it's not right for them to treat anyone this way". YEA! Immediately another woman handed her right then and there a district complaint form and our facilitator urged her to make a report because this is not something that we should stand for and we need to send that message. Also, it was mentioned on what days we could go to the local precinct meeting if we want to and that it is possible to get a top cop to attend one of our meetings too. Hell yea. A few minutes prior, we talked about how quickly they responded to an abandoned vehicle that turned up over night. It was gone in hours of making the call. <br /><br />There were 12 of us and one child and nearly everyone spoke. Some of us talked afterwards outside about organic gardening, medical marijuana, chemtrails, the school farm and the suspicious nature of the fires last summer, mentioned in an early blog. I think these folks might just be down with my crazy City Repair visions for the hood along with orchards, fish ponds, jobs, community policing, festivals and being there for youth. It's sorta all too unbelievable. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. <br /><br />Many people had lived their entire lives here, raised children and want to stay here for the kids now and make this a place they experience in a positive way. "Don't leave it, build it" is what some of us dare say about this city we love and struggle for.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-32509589047506944232007-02-18T07:55:00.000-08:002007-02-18T08:16:39.248-08:00Riddles, for realThis is my favorite riddle. Do you get it?<br /><br />If in panic I forget it, in despair I need it, in my mind I save it, in death I have it?<br /><br />Even better, where did I hear this riddle?<br /><br />I was just listening to This American Life and it had a puzzle theme, so here's my puzzle. Also, here's something from the show I heard, it's an anagram for " a dream within a dream"-What am I, a mind reader? I kinda liked that too.<br /><br />And something else for those folks into radio stories. A while back I actually taped a special show from this festival out of Chicago, the stories were awesome, so here's a link to the homepage.<br /><a href="http://www.thridcoastfestival.org"></a>the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-91026361352569038882007-02-12T11:00:00.000-08:002007-02-18T08:25:27.379-08:00Passionate and DangerousI hesitate and a thought flickers forward. What if I start crying here in the library? I let it pass. That is not an issue now, I will certainly tear up and besides, grief is good. Then I consider for a moment if, or why, I need to share such personal experiences? Yes, I am sure. It's why I got tattooed "passionate and dangerous", which will forever lie acrosss the top of my back. So, I take in and release a deep breath, even if it hurts. I am as committed to what has been as much as what could be.<br /><br />Today we honor and celebrate the lives of our amazing friends, Emma and Oona who died together on this day February 12th, 5 years ago already. They were coming home from a wonderful adventure and died suddenly in a car accident. They were both 21 and part of the Trumbullplex Collective where we lived. I never want to forget and always remain inspired by them. In a way I feel like this is what you do when you are touched by humans with such spirit, it's barely a choice, we have to keep their spirits alive because it rests inside us all now. They were so amazing, I could swear it's impossible that not one of us saw them while their wings were visible.<br /><br />I know that sounds so cheesy, regardless they do make me think of angels. Not flawless perfect beings that wear white dresses in heaven, but humans who on earth tore it up! They had spirits that soared higher than Icarus had. While here they touched so many more people than any of us even know. They were angels that were anarchists and bouncers, artists and gardeners. They skipped classes but knew volumes: from linguistics to welding to breathing fire to geology to what friendship and community should mean too. The list goes on and on. Angels that liked to be loud and party, dream and experiment, think, work, feel, and live to the fullest, the best kind.<br /><br />I really miss them. I miss them all the time and in my own way. They were family to me, as is the rest of the Plex from that time. Some of this extended family will get together tonight as has been the tradition, to remember them as a community, as well as how we individually each do. For me they have settled into a precious and deep place within. It may sound selfish, but they are always there for me, so I hope I can repay them for this. I hope we can let them out of the recesses of our hearts when we are together more often and share with each other what they and the experience of their death means to us now.<br /><br />This year I tried to imagine how they would have physically changed and where they would be. The way they looked may have changed is not as hard as what they would be up to. At this point they could have done and been anything. They were both uniquely beautiful and gifted, I had such crushes on them. On that note since I had no intentions previously to write about them today I'll try to just share a little more about how I felt about them and maybe some day you can ask me more about what they did and who they were. <br /><br />One time I was trying to find a quiet place and ended up on the second floor living room near Oona's room (which I have to mention was painted a bright blue with stars too), I don't think I was even reading, just sitting and resting. Suddenly Oona's door opened and she came out of her room totally naked. She turned to face me and said "oh, hey what's up" and I said "just sitting here" and then she smiled and walked into the bathroom. I didn't know she was in there with her lover. She was so cool about it, while my jaw was still sitting on the floor. <br /><br />We all had a lot of fun. One time in the theatre after a FIASCO, drinking beer and whiskey and Emma being plenty drunk started to hit on me. We didn't know each other very well yet, but it was clear that she was hardcore and probably more than I could handle. Emma was pierced, had most of one arm tattooed in the most beautiful and twisted tree I can ever recall seeing, then and since. She was a traveller punk and truly defined artist-activist. She could play a saw, wore masses of shiny silver jewelery (this is where my thumb ring comes from), and like Oona had a perfect smile. <br /><br />For as fierce as they were they were the sweetest pirates I have ever met and I will love them always. Appreciate and love one another because you never knowthe upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-57497853443828337702007-02-03T19:42:00.000-08:002007-02-03T20:54:59.669-08:00It's About TimeThat's what I figured out. Things are about time, including how long it takes to get your electricity turned on. I used to believe it's about work and vision, but now I know that those things are incidental to this...thing, this concept, discovery or you know I really don't care how you view time, as long as you realize it matters most.<br /><br />Of course, I am being a litte bit facitious and what the fuck am I talking about really? Well, I am here to announce that I have electricity! After months of rewiring and 4 months of calling and waiting and moving the meter can and removing this and adding that and mostly just not knowing what they (DTE) wanted from me, two days ago something that took them probably 10 minutes tops to hook up finally happened.<br /><br />Did I ever tell you about the <span style="font-weight: bold;">time</span> that I called the main operator system to try and trick them into coming out. Oh yes, I was desperate by then. I figured if you have a downed wire that they would come out right away. I never looked forward to calling and going through all the choices on their automated menu (though I was starting to get pretty good at it), but this time I was feeling like this was gonna do something, this attempt would matter. I was a little worried that maybe I could actually make the situation worse if I just straight out said there was a downed wire and sparks were flying or something, so I said "you know I am trying to get my power on and there are some downed wires in the alley (which is really just my driveway at this point) and am not sure how safe that is..." ok sir can you give me your address (or sometimes it's social security number, phone number or name) so I can look up the record on your account?" I think, 'nope, doesn't look like she's buying it'.<br /><br />Turns out that she is actually really interested in figuring out why I do not have electricity yet and begins to ask me about the situation. I tell her that I finally got a meter installed and that I had to move the meter can and add a ground wire beforehand, but at this point "my electricians" (read-friends) say everything looks ok and we should be good to go AND I have this reference number for a DTE inspector to come out to see if there is a problem, but the problem there, is everytime I call and eventually get an answering machine that is full, so it just hangs up on me. To this she assures, seriously, that she is going to help me, and she's really down to earth and I believe her. How I feel about this person matters to me, but that's a whole nother story about one of my phone calls to a different DTE operator. That was a bad one for sure.<br /><br />She says, "if you hold I will call their office for you and then connect you. See, they are moving their offices and I hear things are a little busy over there right now." Of course I say, "sounds good, please do". "Please hold sir". So, the downed wire thing didn't work and I hold and I hold and I walk around my yard, rake a few leaves and then just before it gets bad here she is. "OK sir, I got someone on the line and they should be able to help you out." "Wow, thank you I really appreciate it". "No problem, just stay on the line and I'll patch you through." It rings and guesss what happens? It's that same fucking answering machine and the same thing that always happens happened, it would not even allow me to leave a message and hung up on me. And, in all my excitement I forgot to get her name which means I had no way of getting back in touch with this operator, ever. Doomed, I must be doomed.<br /><br />It wasn't long after that that I gave up and seriously started thinking about just saving up for an alternative power source and for now making sure I was stocked with batteries, candles, wood and pyschologically ready to go ahead and face the winter without electric lights or a space heater. Around that time the weather was not so bad and I think we had just went through that really warm spell, so I had a short reprieve and it wasn't too bad yet. I bought a cheap chainsaw, started scoping out places to get wood and rearranged my furniture again ( I do this about once a week, and again that's another story), but low and behold last Tuesday or was it Wednesday, as I was pulling up, this guy with a clipboard starts to walk up to the upsidedown house, using the sidewalk! 'This must be an official', I think, but rather than drive off worried that they were coming after me for something, I jumped out and said "hey, what's going on?" HE says he's form DTE and the inspector and just needs to look on the outside. NO problem.<br /><br />As I suspected there were no issues and he apologizes and shows me with his thumb and first finger the size of the stack of orders he has to check on and says he really wishes they would hire other people, which sounded like to me that he was the only one who had this job. I did not envy him nor did I give him a hard time. I simply told him that I was surprised to see him because I had given up. He said that he would put "live in" and actually showed me that he wrote this down in large letters on the order form and also said that should help a little bit and hopefully they would get to me soon. 3 days later, whala!<br /><br />Thought that was the end of the story did you? Hell no. Did I ever tell you about the time that I got a bill from DTE, as a matter of fact two (turns out all I ever get in the mail at this point is bills for utitilities I do not have). Yea, that's right they started billing me before I even had service. At first I thought, "what the..." then I realized, maybe they will come out to turn my electricity off and I can get them to actually turn it on? Ridiculous huh? Yea, but not as ridiculous for how long it took to get my eletricity on so I can start paying them money?? OR, did I ever tell you why I had to decipher "meter can must be no more than 17 inches from meter can", which was them saying that we needed to move the meter can down before they would insert the actual meter because they wanted it in a better position for shutting the power off if I ever don't pay my bill, for a service I had yet to even begin to recieve...<br /><br />Now, to remember that they are evil and I should try and minimize my usage and keep on working toward having the choice to be off the grid. For now, it was so good to hook up my stereo system today and listen to XTC's Drums and Wires, especially the 2nd song.<br /><br />Power to the Peoples!the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-89109340157648298862007-01-29T14:40:00.000-08:002007-02-03T19:07:34.591-08:00emerging detroit calendar<span style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Some of you may have noticed that there is a link to a </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);font-size:130%;" >calendar</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"> on my blog and if you went to it I imagine you will have likely been disappointed, because it sucks. Not because it is sorta plain, but because it has very few items of interest on the individual days since no one uses it. I've decided though that I will keep the calendar going and post listings on it myself, along with redoubling my efforts to promote it through myspace, blogs and the box of stickers I printed up (they kinda look like a dollar). Please feel free to spread the word and create a login account and password yourself, it's about as easy as I could possible make it, so do that and it will allow you to promote whatever local events you like there. It could be a useful tool for metro detroiters, new folks or visitors interested in finding out about local meetings, demos/protests, fundraisers, shows and other events. <br /><br />Initially, as I finally got this idea off the ground, myspace was starting to get popular and it seemed like every group had their own calendar too, so they were not very interested in taking the time to use this broad based calendar, though they were fine with me promoting there group or event for them. I seem to recall "Fuck That" were my sentiments towards that idea. My feeling then was I was not using this to promote anything other than Detroit arts/activism and had been promoting peoples events for them (often without them even knowing) for half of my life and thought this would be an easier way to help others help themselves and promote our communities various and many activities as a whole. I did not feel the need to keep on working for others just for kicks. Now, I think I will post for others too. If I can successfully do that they will come, maybe. Do you think we need to have something that helps us see what events are out there, particularly ones that are in line with the vision I put out there for an emerging detroit in the "about page", or truthfully does myspace or other calendars like Critical Moments' do the job already?</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-family:courier new;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:webdings;"></span></span></span></span></span></span>the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1170041878032259042007-01-28T19:03:00.000-08:002007-01-29T08:25:08.026-08:00new poems IIReligion<br /><br />something like fish or stones<br />put in his Tunesian hat<br />makes friends<br />puts in an invisible place<br />spills blood<br />put it in my hands<br />this is the end, so shout<br /><br /><br />DJ Battle Shovel<span style="font-weight:bold;"></span><br /><br />select, or spin<br />my best friends, with<br />silent back pains<br /> and piano wire<br />always <br />new music<br />in the places I (as in we)<br />go <br /> run-down<br />no scene<br />while i go blind<br />and only see me<br /> humor<br />some <br />have something<br />in their eyes<br />and many important tools <br />in their hands<br />he wants to right his <br />story<br />no matter what we (as in I)<br /> need to grow<br /> wake up early<br /> defend our dreams and<br /> go <br />woooo<br /><br />that's the thing<br />we are alive<br />and mean something<br />even if barely<br /><br />so, wolf calls<br /> have heart and burn<br />with it<br />bcz<br />bcz<br />bcz<br />if ever a wonderful wizard there was<br />we're off to see<br />what this<br />whole thing<br />is about<br /><br /><br />72 degrees Jan. 2007 NYC<span style="font-weight:bold;"></span><br /><br />opposites of<br />emergency<br />meditation<br /><br />love and hate<br />person and behavior<br />zippers on your boots<br />feathers in hats<br />plans<br />words<br />ideas<br />masterfully free from<br />doing<br />all american<br />way of the north<br />our whole head overheard<br />talk of sickness and <br />instruction<br />oh my<br />be cute<br />drop in at the cafe with<br />gloves and hats for effect<br />make the evening<br />live and cool<br />years of carving out<br />thought bubbles<br />america is dripping<br />disatisfaction<br />right in there<br />fresh to sour faces<br />immortal hearts<br />til 25<br />weird<br />beeps<br />here<br />there<br />downtown chicken octopi<br />feruary awards<br />any holiday<br />interrupt<br />something exists<br />it's<br />just <br />nice<br />without fail<br />or <br />fault<br /><br />opposites of<br />emergency<br />meditationthe upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1169341858061479482007-01-20T16:58:00.000-08:002007-01-28T19:02:52.363-08:00HOlesI have 10 holes in the walls of my living space. I look at them often, but I am not sure why. Just to point out, that's not in my house, just my living space. I also have cracks, various levels of plaster, discolorizations, and all sorts of odd surfaces. Maybe there are even more too, and I forgot having covered them up with art or furniture? Why gaze upon these holes though? <br /><br />I guess the real question...is there anything wrong with having these holes? Why do we fix these if they're only cosmetic? Cause we can? What's up with the finished appearance; a goal indicating completion, a social expectation or a privelege? For me, "finished" with clay from a nearby vacant lot would be ideal.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1169340504446169012007-01-20T14:23:00.001-08:002007-01-20T16:48:24.536-08:00Children of MenWalking out of the film Children of Men (universal pictures) my world is upsidedown, but of course I already knew that. Among the 4 of us who went, afterwards we perhaps said a sentence each to one another regarding something we all just experienced that I beleive all felt deserves a good deal of attention. I was so blown away I could barely communicate.<br /><br />I was told by a Folci loving anarchist punk from Phili, who happens to be one of my best friends, to make sure to go see this film, so now that I can again talk and have been, I am offereing the same advice.<br /><br />Wow. It's a sci-fi film that takes place 21 years from now in Britain, which by the way, according to the BBC propaganda and other media you see often in the back ground of this film, is the only country that "soldiers on" in the world, which has supposedly collapsed. All women are infertile. <br /><br />The film came out Jan 5th and we went to see it on MLK day, seemed fitting. I got the feeling that it would not be around for too long, since there were only maybe 4 other people in this huge theatre besides us, but looking at the reviews and such, it seems like everyone is praising it and that it should make some dough for this major media company. Fuck all that though. The reviews are probably mostly crap, including the philosopher film critic they have on the homepage talking about "Christian parables and rootlessness of the boat", whatever. My advice is don't see any trailers, if you want read about it do it after, and go see it immediately, maybe twice. What I want to focus on here is personal and regarding the question: have I ever say anything like it?<br /><br />Yes, of course there have been other worlds and future times created with magnificence and awesome artistic virtues to it, but never with the ferocity of such dystopian vision for our near future, 2027. Perhaps, two words are in order "what if?", and not just what if women or men became infertile from PVC or some messed up disaster of what used to be our environment, but what if there were any major calamity? I think we would likely see somethings similar to this. I really appreciated what it pulled from recent events and other very subtle cultural nods from the now, because they are of no little consequence for our world to come in my book, or blog. I would even dare say the film is fortuitously unnerving.<br /><br />Let's see...Tarkovsky's Stalker, no way. Hardware? Used to love it for it's bleak dialogue and romantic vision of radiated zones you are advised to stay out of, but that shit does not even come close. The Children of Men reminded me of nothing I've seen, except when I've witnessed cops abusing people in real life and Abu Graib torture scenes in the media. I'm so gald I am not in the military, that would really expand my horizons. Children of Men was the holocaust meets the apocalypse meets a miracle, all shot in 16 days using a handheld camera! That's just frichin nuts.<br /><br />At first I was wondering how the hell they got this made and was a little surpised because of the content of this film to see it was made by one of the biggies, but I guess that's just how it works these days and the director turned out to be one of the new big guns on the scene also, so what do I know? I wasn't able to recall the other films of his I'd seen, but got clued in after a little research. <br /><br />I'm wondering aloud here, but do we live in times when any single peice of art/media stands a chance of widening cracks in the system? The cracks we see through and inform how we interact with the world today? It's a loaded question, but I throw it out there cause I hope that this film could sorta make people wonder and do more than go to the lame fan club thing the film site has set up called, well I won't mention the name, in case it gives something away in the film. Anyways, it seems like it will be a good conversation piece for a minute.<br /><br />Going back to "what if"; my fingers are usually crossed because the future does not look so good from where I'm standing. Judgiong by the way the US reacted and fell for the war cry, if... if there is an even bigger attack on the US or a new epidemic, say more deadly than AIDS and kills so many so fast that it is too hard to ignore this time, I swear the click will be audible around the world. That is, the click of the ratcheting up of the power the state already weilds to make lives seem worthless and wholly expendable for the sake of maintaining the power and privelege of the few.<br /><br />Lastly, the violence in the film from both the state and the resistance was intense, but I don't think glorified and that is what I like the most. The "hero" had heart, a decent head, humor, and wasn't down with killing. It obvioulsy would have ruined the message of the movie, at least what I took from it, and I think that matters. They had the good sense not risk that for the sake of money making formulas, like the films we previewed before Children of Men, along with adds for the army and buying some crap we don't need, all of which were infuriating because I already paid my 9 bucks and I'm so over having this shoved down my throat. So, this message I speak of, which maybe I am the only one who gets this from it, was so not so much as preachy for even a moment, and maybe did not even exist beyond what each of us takes from it, for me came from the actions of the hero. I think Children of Men said 'step up and do what it takes to really live and die for all our sake, because it's worth it'. Having seen the film on MLK Day I would like to conclude with this thought. Is what I took from the film all that much different from what Dr. King said in his last speech regarding the Memphis workers he was there to support the day before he was assasinated, when he himself paraphrased someone so many beleive to be wise and one to follow, none other than the jesus, in asking "the question is not what will happen to me if I act, but what will happen to these workers if I do not"?the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1167776960099314392007-01-02T13:43:00.000-08:002007-01-02T14:29:20.113-08:00"Lucky Bamboo" (for the new year)I bought a nice new notebook during the holi-daze, but I haven't been writing, much. Some poems that are too symbolic, perhaps shapeless even, while I long for the best words to describe a sunset mountain silhoutte in places I long to get back to, like Guatemala, Jamaica or the Western United States.<br /><br />Right now I am writing to post, the blog calls. On occasion it comes up in conversation too, so I think it's still serving it's purpose.<br /><br />This New Year's Eve I replaced the traditonal sounds of gunshots with live music at the Old Miami,(I'm not a shooter just a listener). I dreamed there would be no interruptions in my evening, just a good time, but the whole thing was a test of will or patience maybe, and in reality I never could fully get into the evenings performers. A combination of amplifed sound issues and distractions led to a series of ups and downs for me, like a year and like so many bullets fired into the air. I felt like my energy for celebrating had been disarmed. <br /><br />I'm not complaing though, one year I almost got hit. I was on the porch at the Trumbullplex and a ricochet went of the brick right by my ear, which happens to be connected to my head and I'm pretty sure is better off without any more holes in it. I wonder if I'll ever forget that sound.<br /><br />This December 31st was not a spectacular drunken last hurrah for me, but almost a suggestion to keep my priorities straight and count on more New Year's celebrations to come. Maybe the theme of this year then is simply 'keep it cool, there's time'.<br /><br />Today, New Years Day we found ourselves at the Belle Isle Conservatory listening to birds, pointing out tiny orchids and breathing in something better than our local air. I intentionally came to see the bamboo, in my book there's nothing else like it. I kept my cool, but I noticed since it's usually the first thing I see when I enter that it seemed to be absent from all the other visibly thick flora and fauna present. I've come to rely on these visits like a shot of what I like, but no bamboo, that's like the worst sign for the coming year I could come up with. Fuck.<br /><br />Before we left, the one I most wanted to spend the last and first day of the year with pointed it out. There it was. It had been cut back, a lot, but it was not gone. Small new shoots were popping up, resilient as ever, refusing to be destroyed. Still running or clumping together and send up its powerful stalks (called culms when they're cut). Maybe 07 will be a lucky year afterall, and we'll grow something here as unique as bamboo is in the grass family as Detroit is to other cities. <br /><br />It's kinda like today. Everyone was trying to start off on a good foot and make the best of the first day of the year, but no matter it was cloudy and not so easy to call it a beautiful, or even pleasant day. Just at the end of it though it became a beautiful solid black night with more stars visible than I can recall in a long time. Stepping back into my warm room (yes I said warm)in the upsidedownhouse, that felt pretty hopefull to me, and that is the way to start a new year, so be patient with your struggle, have at it and have a fucking awesome 2007!the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1166414040891093432006-12-17T19:16:00.000-08:002007-02-03T19:16:56.475-08:00THe claSh"Should I stay or should I go", thinking of the lyrics of that Clash song, it pretty much sums up my thoughts about getting a room for the rest of the winter at one of my friends houses, or sticking it out. The band is ok, but not one of my favorites. The house situation is ok, but it's been harder than I had anticipated.<br /><br />COnsidereing my options, going back and forth, over and over I am not sure. SO what should I do? Ask me some questions?<br /><br />ON the upside. Thanks to global warming the house is totally habitable right now, even though it tends to always be colder inside than outside, which really sucks! I cleaned today, so I am happy to stay there, but how long will we have 50 degree temperatures? And when will I have time to disconect my stove and replace it with a better stove borrowed from friends, plus finish insulating the floor joists under the house and other crawl space insulating attempts, plus the other handful of necessary tightening up and battoning down before a, regardless of unseasonably warm temperatures, winter that will still involve mostly very cold days and often frigid temperatures. I'll need at least 4 days. Doesen't seem like much? When do I do that when I work 8 hours a day plus, go to meetings etc etc. And all that is just so I am warm, that is not even with electricity. Did I mention FUCK OFF DTE!!<br /><br />Pros. and cons, costs and benefits, should I stay or should I go; it all adds up to another hard decision, but right now I am leaning toward staying in my upsidedown house. I'll give myself til the last day of the year to decide.<br /><br />Got my first mail today. To the resident of... (upsidedown house address) Detroit Water and Sewage- pay us $1, past due?? Ummm, I don't have those utilities currently, so why am I giving you even $1, whatever? SOoner or later I will and I will pay them.<br /><br />As mentioned I have been insulating lately. What a nasty job. Let me tell you, fiberglass on your face (and in your lungs) makes for feeling bad about yourself and what you are up to. I wear a full coverall suit, hat and gloves and I try to wear protective gear, but everything steams up, gets knocked off while crawling around in a tight crawl space under the house, or I begin to wonder if I'm probably just concentrating the poor air that I am breathing inside the mask and making matters worse. The proper gear does matter sometimes. But, today was not so bad and I am making progress, about 20x20 to go. <br /><br />R30 insulation that is for 24 inch joists, even with no face (the paper barrier) is not cheap, about $40 a roll, so that's were the money has been gong lately. I also bought a fire extinguisher, an oil filled radiator and a bunch of new paint gear for the job I am on right now in Grosse Pointe. New stuff from Lowes and discounted with a family hook up. This was my first purchase outside of the city. I am trying to keep it local and real. <br /><br />What else? Cash for my 35th birthday from the folks has helped with some of these purchases. LOng gone. The birthday was pretty good, especially I appreciate my lover and all that she gives everyday to me. Thanks baby! <br /><br />What else?? Dispatch Detroit VOl. 8 is out and I have 5 poems published in it and the whole book rocks and if you were not at the Zeitgiest for th reading celebrating the release of th book, well you missed it becasue the folks I read with and those who came were outstanding! Cheers to having the guts to do what you believe in, be it writing poetry, publishing other people's poems or just speaking up to freinds of family, whatever it is- to you keep it up!the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1165792016455209082006-12-10T14:24:00.000-08:002007-02-03T19:21:54.435-08:00Rooftop ThoughtsI am on top; on the ridge of myself, looking out with watery eyes before th sun sinks. It's cold & hard to breathe freely. I feel a little desperate, trying to control my own destiny. A sign says "acres of hope", I respond, "I know", but where to now? I see my neighbors and strangers and I think 'they are compelled to do what is best for them and theirs'. I understand, but this has too little to do with building community as a strategy to outdo capitalism. <br /><br />Deconstructing what it takes to feel like I am still up for this struggle, even just my small part: friends, my voice, some space and time alone every now and again, and diverse activities that keep me learning; it is a double edged sword. I like to be involved in lots of projects that take the place of a formal education and occupation, but each of these, friends included, not just activism, they all take time. Everything takes time... and I'm still on occasion having a hard "time", with just how long it does take. Nevertheless the process is all important, it is life.<br /><br />From up here I also see looming towers that lay shadows down right over neighborhoods, be they hurting or healthy. It's hard not to stare at them from this vantage point, even though there are so many more interesting things to see. Maybe more of us should climb up on our roofs and take a look around? We could wave to each other.<br /><br />Some may think these highly fortified institutional walls are here to serve and protect us, but these buildings also keep people out, especially when their focus has something to do with money. Even people interacting and caring for one another in our neighborhoods, on land that has policies cemented to them, makes for uncertain efforts. That's how I am feeling. In the end the land is not ours, nor is it the state's, but those that make the rules have the upper hand and that get's to the question of power.<br /><br />So many policies equal impossible demands. Try and cold call downtown to figure something out, even if you are trying to pay them something and almost guarantee it will suck the energy right out of you. The bureacracy is virtually useless. Our lives are not like anything those who occupy offices in the highest of these walls know or remember, so we are doubly challenged to try and mend a social fabric that unravels everyday before our eyes, and fight back. I believe our efforts must somehow change (destroy) the system that has us construct such walls, because in these buildings misguided decisions are made for us and they undermine our efforts to speak to one another and control our own lives.<br /><br />Real estate values going up, but what value is it? It's the value of a dollar. The values I write about, are priceless, and they most closely resemble the anarchist philosphy and way of life. But even if that feeling of others are out there struggling like me and have been for so long under the banner of the blag flag, what good is it ever if it does not help you to keep an open mind always.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1163901214718027642006-11-18T17:53:00.000-08:002006-11-20T18:41:52.043-08:00To a Warmer TomorrowIf I eat any more licorice, I will be sick. Friday night in front of a Warm Morning model 523 upright wood stove, trying it's best to take the edge off the cold, long penetrated into the upsidedownhouse. I've got a few days at least before these two rooms I'm trying to hole up in are sealed up from the air that insists on coming inside, so it's not the easiest of spaces to warm regardless of the effienceny of the stove, which it is not. I'm getting low on cash, but I think I might blow $150 on a heat reclaimer, which will attach to my 24 gauge 6 " black stove pipe (that was sooo hard to put together for some reason), then I'll cross my fingers and hope it was worth it and "reclaim some heat". I'm losing an unbelievable amount of heat right up my pipe and out my chimney.<br /><br />Not that there's more than 2 or 3 people who are even likely to read this in the near future, but just to say it, I have been absent for nearly a month because I didn't want to write about not staying in my house or freezing when I was there. I have been working on various projects, nothing too major and writing poems, some of which I did include in my "New Poems" section. There will be more to come, so, thank you to any one who has taken the time to read through any of these posts and I do hope you come back even if on occasion it's been a minute since my last post.<br /><br />Right now, though I can still see my breath, I'm actually warm for the time being but each breath is appreciated, for real. Actually this moment is mine and it is supburb. <br /><br />I excitedly found the licorice today under my makeshift kitchen, which for the sake of space I think is rather compact and useful. Ah, but now that I have fire...will I be so bold to try and cook and put both my stove and kitchen to the test? Of course. Fire, how things changed when that came along for humanity. It's like, bye bye scavengers here comes the main course. Exactly like that, right. Suddenly I have a chill. I guess that make me just on the edge of warm. Huh, I wonder if the same might be said about my personality, even though I was referring to my body heat? When I get my exercise bike back modified for charging batteries and have to pedal for power I'll be able to stay warmer albeit, maybe in both ways? ( Yes, it's true still no electricity thanks to DTE. fuck em )<br /><br />There is such a ridicuoulsness to my life right now, like trying to have a conversation upsidedown. Am I on my hands while everyone else seems like they're on their feet? It's hard, but maybe it's the other way around? Are you ridiculous? But that's just it, as long as we keep going around and trying new things, to better define what our lives are about, then some ridiculousness is probably in order. It's fine. Acutually no it's not. Mine is worth challenging, as long as I can keep a sense of humor about it too.<br /><br />Is it beyond reason to offer that even if my life is fine, and another's is not, than my life is not fine? So, it's not fine. The way I see it, in short things are totally fuct, but at least I'm in good company and I have the privelege of working, no living for change like so many others, because we are inspired and believe in something greater. So when I refer to the importance of fire I admit that the element is important, but really I think it's the fire inside us that matters more. To collective youth media environmental education plans! (shwww, there's a mouth full) Time to fetch some wood so I can maybe have a "warm morning".the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1162006755626513202006-10-27T18:26:00.000-07:002006-10-27T20:39:15.670-07:00Kept in the DarkPart II.<br />Listening to Cole Porter songs under the covers. My breath can be seen and my nose is running. I thought I was waiting for a guest to help keep me warm, but it turned out I opted to get warm somewhere else.<br /><br />Half hour earlier, looking for the tiniest of keys for a chest where I keep my extra blankets I found my small oil lamp and a cord to connect my portable MP3/CD player to the line out of my crappy garbage picked boom box instead. I could finally listen to CD's and have a little more light. It was cold, but my room was beginning to feel warmer. <br /><br />I never found the key and instead jammed a knife into the lock and before I could even give it a twist it jumped open. As though it were satisfied in a way that if I had found the key there is no way it would have worked as easy. Out come the reinforcements thanks to one of my favorite tools, a pocket knife. Fuzzy ones, wool ones, flanel ones- blankets are good.<br /><br />I was trying to play piano to the Cole Porter songs for a few minutes,and it was sounding ok, but the covers called, especially to my stiffening limbs. It's really not even that cold out yet, but tell that to my toes.<br /><br />Earlier earlier that day I got a good amount of tiles gifted and dropped off to me. They are rectangular and a blue bronze that is hard to describe, but I like them a lot, and not just cause they were free. I am considering dropping $50 bucks or so on some complimentary antique Koy tiles that would go very nice with the ones I already have and use them for my bathroom. The only thing is the fish tiles are $6 each.<br /><br />There goes the oil lamp, out and at the same time (coincidence?) there goes the music too, the inverter is out of power. It's only comfortable under the covers. Two thoughts. I can't stand DTE and it's time to leave.<br /><br />Part I.<br /><br /> At work, like I sensed it coming, despite knowing I should paint til it hurts so I can finish this job already, I left at the right time. After only 4 1/2 hours and only a slight shift in the grey weather to greyer, I called it a day and started for home. I ran out of paint in my small quart container and without contemplation it was just like, "well that's it, I'm out". <br /><br />The kids from Western are walking by and traffic is suddenly backed up as smoke already starts to fill the air. That was 3:30. As I'm hitting Vernor at Vinewood, fire engines race past towards a thick black smoke coming from a few blocks straight ahead on Vinewood and it looks like Toledo. There are both houses and buidlings of some sort up there. I wonder what it is? In a moment I can even see flames.<br /><br />It was not that I got to be there in that moment as everything came together and something started to happen, but because they ended up closing off and evacuating 3 streets for several blocks that I felt lucky that I was already getting out of there. At 7:30 when I was visiting a friend back in the area, just on the other side of Vernor, smoke was settling into the neighborhoods. It was pretty creepy. <br /><br />Not really expecting to get any information I pull over and my friend gets out to ask a cop what was/is burning in there. He gets some ridiculous "well you see that would be the Fire chief's call, and I'm not sure why those people were evacuated blah blah blah protocal. At least we didn't expect much from them. Cops. No matter what it, seems clear that there was something in that building that is coming down into SW Detroit.<br /><br />Should more people had been evacuated and will they ever know what was in that building? What about the other buildings near us that seem empty, because there is little activity going on should we assume we are safe, who knows? The point. SW Detroit and too many cities where the residents in areas that are low income have what are called "acceptable" levels of toxins fom industry in it's back yards, literally, for too long. Canaries in the coalmine. <br /><br />Lois Gibbs formerly from Love Canal, a housewife turned amazing environmental activist, at the Bioneers conference last weekend talked about how it is legal to poison us. No joke. To assume that we would be told what are in these buildings that may catch fire or explode one day with no warning, or corporations involved in industries that pollute our environment stay within permit levels is not likely, and even if they were, discharge permits mean permission to poison us. We need to shift the burden onto the polluters and refuse to be lied to and kept in the dark.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1161394538445935112006-10-20T18:27:00.000-07:002006-10-20T18:35:38.456-07:00A Metal MomentNow this is great. And when I was 15, 16 or 17-going out to this bar called Blondies near 6 or 7 Mile,I forget, to catch live metal and punk shows, I’d probably have said “fuckin’ sweet.” Listening to Merciful Fate, Slayer, Exodus, Metallica, Kreator, even Negative Approach, then and right now tonight on a mostly cold and fantastic October evening 2006, nearly 20 years later. On this Autumn night a plate of dark clouds with phantom ribs cut threw the cold and makes me stare up and appreciate how unheavenly the clouds can seem. In the house a CJAM metal show plays songs from my youth while a very “metal” pewter plate of candles burns. I wasn’t trying to match the music, I just don’t have electricity. <br /><br />It’s all too metal a moment for me to deny I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the really classic records like “Reign in Blood”, “Killing is my Business and Business is Good” and quite a few others.<br /><br />This thrash, speed, dark, death or whatever metal label at the time suited it, actually was often quite thought provoking on serious subjects, like the Holocaust or war profiteers for example, and no doubt was crucial to my current anti-authoritarian, deviant world view. Of course my view is not limited to such a singular position, nor is my music now either… I grew some, found Sonic Youth, and Miles, then ole’ time “country” music which included prison work songs and the Delta blues and soon after that the flood gates opened and I was interested in all of it. It was likely in the very early years Hendrix and sound of waves that primed me for embracing all creative music. From Peruvian flutes, Stevie Wonder, the Moog synth., COIL, Segovia, and of course lots of punk. Music Is Best. And I still wear a leather jacket too with the traditional hand drawn skull on the back, this one from the band D.I.R.T.<br /><br />Anyway, did you hear the price of copper is significantly down?<br /><br /> I know this because the 250 ’ (that stands for feet and “ can be the symbol of inches) of 12-2 Romex (wire) I purchased yesterday was nearly $20 cheaper than the last time. With the savings I threw down another $25 and got a role of R-19 6 ½” x 23 insulation, because the 2x4 joists in my house are 24” on center, which means that from the center of one piece of wood nailed into place to the center of the next corresponding piece is 2 foot, so I need a wider insulation and have to settle for the R-19. That stands for the rating of how much insulation it provides. Oh boy is this Saturday gonna be a party. Did you hear that, 250 feet! Just kidding. But actually, yes, insulating, reglazing windows and running 3 new circuits to the upstairs, while replacing the old nob and tube wiring, mostly because it’s accessible and hopefully I’ll not always have the floor and ceilings open like they are, are all on the agenda. Yea it’s going to be a party, a work party.<br /><br />I should have my power on this next week, now that I finally got that damn meter installed, oh and there will be a separate post to come on that matter. Plus 80% of my windows are repaired for now, so no more boarding and unboarding windows for a few weeks now, and I found a bunch of interesting things at the Architectural Salvage Warehouse yesterday also, and maybe at the Habitat for Humanity restore too. <br /><br />I’m broke now, but another week (hopefully) and I should have about $500 to blow on salvaged lumber, new insulation and stove pipe, or maybe I’ll, gasp, fix my exhaust on my car. Oh my, I know. It’s hard to believe since it’s so charming roaring down the road sounding like a SUV beast, but my little Honda buddy is not really very pleased with the way I’m neglecting it, so I think it might be time to give it a little attention. Either way, that time off I was hoping to take to work on my chimney and other stuff-forget about it. That $500 is practically already gone. Onto the next job and I’ll just squeeze time in to work on the house in the evenings, since I should have electricity soon. I’m lucky that I have work, but when I had 3 jobs or so overlapping , like in August, that I did not like.<br /><br />I’m most excited about my new plan for converting my attic into loft space, and I’m not talking lofts like that bullshit gentrification that keeps eating up good land and buildings for tired old ideas of economics and “helping the city comeback”, please. I’ll be opening up (already did) parts of my 2nd Fl. ceiling, add a header to catch and secure the dormer and then remove a bunch of ceiling joists, so that the attic is opened up to the roof of the house and I’ll have a 16ft high ceiling in at least one room. I’m looking forward to one day sitting and reading a book from in there and looking up out onto my huge garden. It’ll be a good place to sit and is perhaps inspired by my old place on Hubbard.<br /><br />PS <br />Since I am not going to try and break down what any of the above means, if you are at all not sure, for a bonus, just in case you didn’t know 2x4’s are not actually that, but something like 1 ¾ x 3 ½ -just in case you need to take a measurement soon.<br />See ya<br /><br />PSS <br />Kakistocracy-look it up.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1161032193215214562006-10-16T11:52:00.000-07:002006-10-16T13:56:33.296-07:00The pressure of knowingThough it's getting colder & I still do not have heat and electricity (beyond what's going on inside my body). I'm coming out of a bitter cold feeling towards what is and people in general, hence my delay in posting. Not been so worried about being physically cold, but succumbing to a cold heart has been an issue as of late. You might not know it by the end of this post as my blood boils and I spit out the poison that makes me sick, but I'm feeling better now. I think it's true; even if this does not end on a hopeful note. <br /><br />I think this is a good place for me to let it go, even if it is not private and authorities have access. Mostly just cause it's easy to archive and I do like to share some of these times in my life with others. As for "the man's" watchful eyes... It may be hard to believe nonsense, but you better believe you can be watched these days, ask the CA 14 year old girl who got pulled out of Bio.class by the FBI and interrogated today for posting an antiwar cartoon on her myspace blog. Anyway, read on if you like, knowing it's not a good space to be in and that I want to stay away from there for as long as I can this time, but maybe you feel the same way and it will be a cathartic journey for both us. <br /><br />To tell you the truth I think about some people I know and the attitudes they have adopted which seem so hard and hopeless, full of the language of male violence and self importance and know that is where you go when you give in to this royal mess. talking about "i'll just shoot that fucker this and these people need to get what's coming to them" type of rhetoric. I feel totally put down by it and it makes me feel less towards the signs of solidarity and good will that people do often extend towards others. I think we are a society consumed by this way of acting and thinking. Like clockwork, from that "i'm a hard ass" stance I wonder if my friends could easily forget about me and dismiss me also if I gave up on trying to create change and some stability around us since I have struggled not to do to the same to the aforementioned friends of mine with less and less success. Why hold onto people who seem to be lost to the world as it is? For the sake of keeping love, support and struggle alive I have these people in my life (somewhat) even though it's not really a good thing right now, or is it? <br /><br />I wonder if I could just say fuck it all, hole up in the Upsidedown house and make really intense music and poetry, and possibly feel better than I had been trying to do something about what I see, however pathetic that would be- finally a loser punk having given in to the pressures of knowing and chosing to withdraw into self, dark and alone, occasionally coming out to vent in public about the latest genocide, like a big public fart. How useful is that? <br /><br />Some days I talk of having a child or think about my 3 year old nephew and feel disgust at the thought of the lives of children in this world, and think "no way", especially because of the imbalance of power that is seeping into everything and the ignorance of this country's inhabitants. Many would say their lives, chances for kids and the world are altogether in a better state now and I would whole heartedly DISAGREE. I'd say more like a step forward and 2 steps back. And hell yes am I being cynical and judgemental. When someone throws the word "rape" around or talks about prisons as industry and the potential to make some money by getting into the business, or how about a charter school in Arizona, that includes Kindergarten, where the whole school is centered around teaching capitalism overtly, all different people in the space of an hour...well it's asking a little bit much to not feel cyncial? These are all examples per conversations I had or were near this weekend and they make me not want to have kids, but just try and help the ones who are here now and have inherited this military madness. <br /><br />People are so tied up into the myths that so called leaders have made up and to speak up all the time makes me feel sick of it all. As a matter of fact these last times I got to be in the presence of so much ignorance I didn't even bother to speak up, but I also didn't get totally drunk as a means of dealing either, which I would say gets me about on the breaking even scale of acting responsibly. Speaking of "even", saw the band The Evens last week, good music, interesting form, nice try, but in the end couldn't get down with what felt like a very Liberal politic. Whatever.<br /><br />I feel hatred at where we are. I understand what is happening in the world of terrorism and war and decision making I think pretty fucking well. Most people who are subjected to all this are the civilians,everyday people who are elderly, the infirmed, the children and could be my family and firends. Yea, I got a little bit of hate in my right now. Not at these people, but just how fucked up that is. And like it said it a scene from one of my favorite movies where some future post apocalyptic news is being read in Hardware, "it's going to get worse before it get's better". <br /><br />I don't want to get over what is going on in this country though I just want it to fucking stop. As it pushes towards a totalitarian state and decimates, threatens and exerts it's terribly cconfused philiosophy of the elites on the world, I need to release the knowing and find more hope. Probably more spray painting in my life would be a good thing, but then I wonder...how likely is it that one day I will be on the other end of a prison penpal. <br /><br />I think back at my life in response to all this carnage and have to say that I'm doing ok. No, as a matter of fact I've got a pretty good story to tell about finding out not only about how this system really does do some serious internal damage, but also how we can heal from what is inflicted on us t just by getting out there and doing hopeful things with others. I was thinking the other day, not counting just thinking about the world since I was a youth, but actually engaging in the culture of disent and trying to do something different, that it's been about 15 years. SO what? Well I'd say cheers to stepping up for collective action and the history of resistance, because it can not only keep you alive, but kicking too. More than ever those stories are out penetrating the dominant paradigm too and I am not going to give in because I want mine to be there too, so not only can I try to effect change in this life, but even after I am gone. You don't even have to be a famous bad ass, the likes of Goldman, Malatesta, Kicking Bear, or countless others, because I've had friends who aren't with us any more and only a few people will ever know of them, but those of us who do remember that they are tatooed unto our spirit and we have to stick together and shake these feelings of so much hate and trade them in for renewed comittment to fucking this bullshit up.<br /><br />well, just got kicked off the library computer, so hope it makes sense.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1160361986447189472006-10-08T19:44:00.000-07:002006-11-22T19:04:26.153-08:00new poemsNov. 23rd<br />Me-Start-Why<br />(inspired by CRASS and Higgs of LUNGFISH)<br /><br />(part 1.)<br /><br />why each animal<br /> like each word<br /><br />why each component<br /> like each form<br /><br /> seasonal events<br />like songs<br /><br />reacting to the gift of life<br /><br /><br />(part 2.)<br /><br /><br />See it happening<br />Times up<br /><br />4 more questions<br /><br />is it contagious?<br />are nearby trees effected?<br />how long will it take,<br />a day, two?<br />is it the temperature?<br /><br />Yes And<br />It Is<br /><br />that answer<br /> for my wonder<br /> go out &<br />into a bright yellow<br />ginko leaves walk on cars<br /><br />each is ready<br />& says<br />you are the only you<br /><br />it's not inconceivable<br /><br />friday novemeber 10th 2006 8 am<br /> watched the leaves of a tree fall off<br /><br />one <br />after <br />two<br />after<br />so many<br /><br />all <br />falling<br />shedding th world<br />not<br /> shunning it<br /><br />Oct. 27th<br />to th er<br /><br />I remember, those <br />days<br />when we were<br />there<br /><br />above water<br /><br />business elimination language<br />closed the issue<br /><br />now <br />we are all in, deep<br /><br />finally <br />equality<br /><br />Oct. 23rd<br />When<br /><br />listen<br />to the change<br />on the cross<br />on the floor<br />to tree tops<br />"jesus, what a sound system"<br />escape from tv<br />US Roman isms<br />into small places, where<br />people can be loved, again<br />heaven-ly moment<br />again<br />on this earth<br />fighting the good fight<br /><br />Oct. 8th<br />Fall-ing <br /><br />Closed Eyes Calm<br />Candle, Light<br />It’s Good To Write<br />Finally So Quiet<br /><br />Cycle Artists<br />Ground Poems on Rocks<br />Like<br />A noise<br />A House<br />A mouse<br />Or an intruder<br /><br />It’s Good to Write<br />But the train comes early, <br />No mourning<br />step, inside<br /><br />PinkSunGases, Look<br />Strong and Grow<br />Lucky Bamboo <br />Mouth , the words<br />Name No One Man<br />For<br />They mean far, less- without<br />Knowing<br />One<br />Fall leaf rustling<br /><br />For Artists<br />Who are wrong<br />But belong here<br />It is Finally Quiet<br />Enough to Fall <br />Asleep with a poemthe upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1159638862912639722006-09-30T09:17:00.000-07:002006-09-30T10:54:23.010-07:00Urban CampingI had told myself that it would "be like camping, but with a better shelter than a tent and just for a little while. I'm sure I'll have that electricity hooked up soon enough anyway". Yea 2 weeks later, we'll see about that. It has been good, but just for incite here's some of the everyday issues I have gotten myself into with my urban camping situation. <br /><br />When you do not have electricity it seems like civilization is all around you, but you are still a neanderthall waiting for that extra, power. (I'm joking) Things like oh say, meals and more importantly morning coffee plus keeping anything preserved so having ice around are an issue. Keeping my phone charged, my battery charger and inverter charged too, so I can have some music and company, plus my indispensable chordless drill batteries charged are all new considerations lately and additions on my To-DO list. Keeping warm has not been too much of an issue, yet.<br /><br />I like hanging out on my porch and seeing when the neighbors are coming and going, but reading by candlelight is a drag. When it get's dark is when I have to shift into my camping mode most. Reading for example only serves to make me tired, so at night I have begun to incessantly rewrite my to do list and make notes about the particulars about each item on the list mostly as an exercise to do with myself in the evenings. This I can manage by candlelight. <br /><br />It is important when in this situation to stay focused and motivated to move on and not settle on just getting by, so I have been trying to deal with my compliance with DTE regulations, but when they leave notes like the most recent that reads "Meter can is required to be no more than 42 inches to the center of meter can, please correct" you have to wonder if you will ever understand what they mean and want from you beside a monthly payment. We just want hot things and light. Needless to say I have been eating out and hanging out quite a bit outside of the Upsidedownhouse lately.<br /><br />Electricity is something I have lived without before, aside from camping. Travelling in Hawaii I stayed in a treehouse part of the time and the rest made a shelter out of wood, tarps and corrugated metal. Just like now I still had access here and there though. Once I lived out of my car in SanFrancisco, mostly around Golden Gate Park and travelling throughout the country too gave me a taste of roughing it. I've slept in ditches out under the stars and with all the mosquitoes too and it's moments like those that you realized how ridiculous anti-civilization theorists can get. Fuck that, I want to be able to play my records! I also ate food out of the garbage that others might have munched on and really appreciated the opportunites I did have to the airwaves, even if I were limited to a few moments on my car stereo that could not be driven because I was out of gas and money, but the point is we take a lot for granted when our experiences are limited and right now things for me are not hard. <br /><br />Maybe folks do need to know what it would be like to live on the streets before they really get involved with control of their own lives and helping others, rather than throw money at some huge institution (who in all likelihood has some people making a lot of money from their efforts to "help the homeless")and go on with their own "business"? I'm not going to ever be a part of making a decision like that though. A poet friend of mine who is a little crazy actually told me last week that he wishes he could flip the script on the rich and that would be their chance to rehabilitate, they would have to live on the street. Yea, I think that was a movie once, but he would not have seen it.<br /><br />Let me be clear. I'm not even slightly making some pretense that my going without is akin to what people who legitamately have no electricity go through to get ready for their day or tuck the kids in for bed at night, but I think even with electricity all around me; it not at the flick of a switch is something most of the people I know should experience, often. <br /><br />I think I wanted to go through this to better inform my relationship to such a huge system of power before I just plug in. I desire a more meaningful and instructive experience when I am officically connected into it. And when I am on the grid my plan is to immediately begin to try and get off of relying on it. I am already working on that too, with a bike powered alternator and battery system, which I think I have mentioned before and plans for a greenhouse and solar set up later on down the road. <br /><br />Remember when a huge portion of the country including Detroit was blacked-out? That was a great day for me. Everyone hanging around outside, meeting new neighbors, bonfires and cooking on grills, but it is important to keep in mind how it effects our hospitals, the elderly, transportation and all those who are shocked when they do not have what they so rely on, or shocked because they do not have the experience of mutual aid in commuities they are apart of and feel abandoned or have to rely on the state. I'm sure the people of Cuba who experience roling blackouts often totally feel the same. yea right. Just to mention with the benefits of community support so too come responibilites. Yea, yea. going off on tangents and whatever. I can do that here though.<br /><br />Did I mention I do not have any plumbing either. I am often filling up water jugs for cleaning up, and buy 3 gallons of water at a time for drinking (which I conserve) from a local "canteen". It's amazing how much water I use to wash a spoon. Relieving myself is another issue and mostly involves my yard and taking advantage of using others facilities when I am out. In the end I do not plan on pissing and shitting in clean drinking water coming from a toilet and want to combine my food scraps with my own wastes and make compost. Our current system is about as wasteful as it gets, and I guess that goes as much for the war as the sewers.<br /><br />I realize I am mostly relying on others who are hooked up to the water and electrical system, and my closest friends, but I sleep there every night and wonder if I smell too often. Washing down (with soap) using cold water has been a harrowing experience and again really makes you appreciate things like a hot shower when you have been working with cement, caulk, dirt and who knows what all day. They are real experiences, but they are also what they are and that is to say mine is not an extreme situation. <br /><br />I don't feel like I have truly done justice to this issue with this piece, but I need to get back to the house and do some work. So, I look foward to soon have recorded music for my listening pleasures at the flick of a switch, but still I am a little weary of which way is better and I think already I look forward to the city of Detroit going camping someday. I don't see why we can not dream of things like that cooperating and sharing all that we bring to the situation, material objects and ideas alike, when we live in such a nightmare. <br /><br />To the next industrial revolution, maybe this time we will get it right and remember to consider nature in our plans an designs, otherwise it will no doubt deal with us in a way equally as inconsiderate.<br /><br />solidthe upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1159126189383284612006-09-24T12:25:00.000-07:002006-09-24T12:29:49.400-07:00Victory Dance(s)I have to admit that I came home just before 10 on Friday night and danced with my own shadow, cast onto what will be my living room ceiling some day, in all its cracked and recently scraped glory. While I lit the candles and turned on a radio powered by a battery inverter, borrowed from a friend, I noticed the large shadow overhead right about the time that “cold sweat” by James Brown came over our airwaves by way of CJAM in Windsor. It was my first Friday night in my house and it felt like the moment called for a victory dance. <br /><br />I discovered some time ago that if you want to be free there are two very essential things you must have, one is music and the other is the willingness to move your body and dance. Without them all the struggle and hardships we try to overcome will no doubt get the best of you. And as it turns out Friday night was not the only night I had the opportunity to dance this weekend, thanks to the Trumbull.<br /><br />Earlier on Friday I went to hear the host of Democracy Now, Amy Goodman speak at WSU. I’ll admit something else now too, I am a radio news addict. Most of it I would agree with Amy in that it trades challenging and critical news for access to those with power and a position, (“the access of/to evil”) to then pretty much promote government propaganda, but I still want to hear what is being put out there. The program she hosts stands far apart from all that. Democracy Now is celebrating 10 years of radical journalism, “radical” in that it actually does the job it should, covering news from ground zero and not allowing everyday people’s voices to be silenced. So, I paid my $12 dollars and got to hear some stories that I don’t find in the corporate media too often, if ever.<br /><br /> I listen to the show on DET almost daily at 11 am and sometimes I think she is my anti-hero, because of the hope she offers by taking such an uncompromising stand. After the talk I stood by the door and must have repeated this phrase, with minor variations, “Hi, check out a copy of Critical Moment, it’s free” at least 40 times. Handing out papers is not my favorite thing to do, but I’m sure I handed out over 80 papers and most of those people had never even heard of it, even though they were at an event that was all about supporting independent local media. If you don’t read Critical Moment you should. I will have to put up a link to it here now having said that.<br /><br />I saved the last paper for Amy Goodman who was busy singing autographs, so I just slipped one under a bouquet on the table with a little note on it for her, expressing my appreciation. I was feeling pretty good by the time I got home to my dark and damp house that I just spent my first week in, hence the victory dance. It was back to work last week. Took a new job too, which I have to get started on right away preparing and repairing 30 windows on an old apartment building and then installing new storms. I bid it for $450 only because they are really amazing people and if I could I would do it for free or a work trade with them I certainly would. They just adopted 5 kids who were their neighbors after their Mom died, who they had also been helping care for. I’ve been there, not the adopting kids part, but caring for someone in your community who is definitely going to die soon, and that is both a wonderful and very painful experience, so these folks are pretty much saints in my book. Yea, that was an aside, but they deserve it. <br /><br />Last week, as I am fond of saying I did my least favorite thing when it comes to doing what I do, roofing. It’s brutal and no fun. Actually it is fun sometimes. I like the view, and the climbing, sometimes, but it is dangerous and really hard work. The upside was I got some practice laying bricks and flashing the base of a chimney this week, which is something I have to do on the upsidedown house soon, at least I hope it’s soon, otherwise there will be a wood stove just sitting in my house not being used. Aside from working and getting supplies, plus just settling into my new life, I did get some gardening in and made time to hang out this week too. The shelves are up, and the space I am staying in looks nice. All for now, off to see THE WAR TAPES, there will be more soon, maybe even some interesting video that was shot at the workday yesterday by my wonderful best friend and lover.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1158601610695990512006-09-18T09:27:00.000-07:002006-09-18T11:06:59.633-07:00the High LifeThere's too much to try and account all in one post, but since I am not likely to have the time to write about all that has happened, here's a shoutout to this past week and weekend, then my real post. <br /><br />It was an emotional affair. What would the Jesus say? "Goddamn". Not in that offensive to Christians sorta way, but more like "holy fuck and wow!". Long talks about love, walks in our city fields, friends and community stepping up, surprises about the farm that really should not have been a surprise, the innocence and frailty of my nephew missing those who love him but are not around often enough, one very grand sunset that seemed to say 'this way to heaven-here is the hole in the atmosphere to escape the earth', and of course moving out of my old place and the goodbyes. <br /><br />Moved a piano along with all my stuff into one room of the house, and it went pretty well I have to say. Took about 10 people 4 hours and cost me $50 for the 14 ft. truck, and $40 for lunch for some of the helpers and it was so worth it. Upon completion, at first it was like "what are all my things doing in this place?" You have to just take my word for it, the UpsideDownHouse is still very much in, let's just say a raw state and not really a space most people would want to move a piano into yet. That's where I am though, and to some extent who I am, and it's already coming together as far as the possibility of even finding some of my things. Tonight will be my first night staying there. <br /><br />Still no electricity, running water, heat, back door, etc etc. , but there is a space carved out in the middle of the room where all my things are that doesn't seem all that bad and I am making progress on the room upstairs I am claiming as mine. It's looking pretty fucking awesome too. More on that later when I have pictures developed. Now for the real post.<br /><br /><br />It was the "High Life". Not a time for drug indulgences, but feeling elevated, if not often elated. It came to me that it really does feel like the end of an era for me, and that is how I think I want to recall that time. <br /><br />From the nook in my attic room. <br /><br /> I watch kids on bikes who I imagine battle the midnight homeless and crack junkies in the trash for control of the alley culture. I can rarely pick out what they are saying in Spanish even though they are loud and a little too confident. I can also look down into my wild garden now and smirk, then as I have done for so many years look up at the "Organic Grdening for the Revolution" stencil I recut and sprayed onto a board out there; sorta proud to have brought this back to Detroit by way of a Nashville artist. But as the day fades with the sun setting behind my view of Holy Redeemer, having swept and cleared out my things best I can from this dusty attic in SouthWest, regardless of how wonderful it is, it is also time to say goodbye.<br /><br />I spent over a year cleaning up, organizing and constructing this space. I actually had peace here, but it was never mine. <br /><br />This is the 12th time I have moved in my adult life. When I moved back home I initially lived on 2nd at Canfield and it was not really gentrified yet, then a brief stay at 4th street as my girlfriend and I went through the final death throes of our terminal relationship, then after crashing in the theatre at the Trumbullplex I became a full fledged member with my own room and everything! It was during that time that I was got reaquainted with the city, and by the time I moved back home (for real), to SW Detroit, just a few blocks from where I was born and both sides of my family all had lived as I grew up, I definitely felt The D in my blood.<br /><br />When two of us from the Plex moved out, we were fortunate to to have a new place to rent in a second flr. flat that was handed down to activists over the years with cheap rent and a landlord that really just didn't want to be bothered too much, which was fine with most of us because we really did not want a land lord. Soon I got antsy though in my finished room with just two of us and the cats and began to desire more space, more people and cheaper rent and I only had to look up. <br /><br />The attic was completely out of the question for most, but I set my sites on it and said "fuck it". At first you could not even get to it, with the stairwell covered in serious amounts of debris, which was behind a door which was behind a curtain which was on the backl porch which was riciculously heaped up with stuff not really relevant enought to make it into the house from the previous tenants. I had a vision though, $100 a month rent. <br /><br />The attic was storage for many activists treasures and junk for probably over 25 years, and when I got there it was also covered in serious amounts of fine black dust and bits of the old wood shingle roof that had all been dumped down into the attic when the roof was redone, rather than haul it away. Day by day and week after week I sorted and bagged and got rid of all the nastiness and began to see how this might actually happen, some day. It took so long I can not even remember for sure, but I know it took over a year. Now it's a large attic seperated in two by some walls I built and a door. One side has been drywalled and finished and the other (mine)the drywall is up but not yet mudded, sanded and painted. <br /><br />It was a lot of work and I reused an incredible amount of odd materials that have been laying around up there and in the basement for who knows how many years, and of course there were many people who helped, especially the roomates, but for the most part it was a beast that I conquered, and I can see now that I was preparing for the UpsideDownHouse. <br /><br />Why, or was it really worth it you might ask? Well, I did pay myself with minor treasures uncovered. A First pressing this, a Japanese print that, old Soviet propaganda poster, but I made sure not to get greedy and pillage the whole collection. I'm sure afterall that the owner (who still believes just two people live there)and her deceased mother would not appreciate that all too much, but I feel like if I had not done something, more than what I had found that was already destroyed would have been. So, yes I did reward myself beyond $100/mo. rent for a few years that allowed me to travel for months on end, and hell yea it was worth it.<br /><br />Yea, in the end I worked my ass off there and I probably made out like a bandit with forgotten tools and cool little things that left with me, but I think most would sooner toss that all out in our cheap buy it new CONsumer CULTure rather than save it and see the beauty that is still present within, even if it's a little water damaged or bent. <br /><br />I made a nice space up there and I left it better than it was before, plus I planted some trees, made new gardens, befriended the old and young, sane and probably insane and continued to grow while there. <br /><br />Thinking back now,I learned I want to always try to prepare for new challenges by way of the challenges I currently choose to take on. I am sad to leave this-I gave my heart over to this place, it's how i did it. It was not merely a space in a house with a history, in a hood I felt connected to by proximity to my families old stomping grounds, but despite the fact we did not all own the house I feel like I still made it into a home. And that is what matters the most now.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1157944636672513792006-09-10T19:55:00.000-07:002006-09-10T20:29:32.040-07:00move day approachingLately I have been repairing windows and only had to buy a few panes, the rest I found. The guys at Deb's Linoleum on the SW side, which I frequent often, were happy to try and cut the used glass for me for no charge. It is necessary to bar my windows on the first floor right now, even though the neighbors are including me in their efforts to look out for one another, so I put the call out there and a friend came through with 4 security bars. It's so nice to take those boards off the windows. If anyone has anymore security bars I can have let me know.<br /> <br />So, what else? Oh yea, there's this guy named ()*!&#$%&^()(%@%$!!! and if you see him anywhere near a roof, have him arrested. I have been trying to fix the areas he did not finish from a couple of years ago or I don't know, maybe he thought he was finished, but damn he really gives new definition to the phrase winging it. Actually, that would have been cool if he intentionally was thinking of trying to put wings on the roof. Yea, looks like a few years ago it was recovered (resheeted) with OSB plywood and reshingled. I think it will last a year or two, but I am not done with the repairs yet, so who knows what else I will uncover that might change my mind. Dropped $100 on roofing supplies, but reused a bunch of shingles for my ridge, and found nails. I might eventually try to experiment with cutting up old tires as shingles since there are so many around the UpsideDownHouse. It's not my idea and has been tried before.<br /><br />The house has been coming along, still no electricity, but made another appointment for DTE to come out, hopefully soon. Regardless, it's time for me to make my move, so this Saturday I am getting a U-Haul and moving I don't know how many boxes of books and papers, lots of vinyl records, a couch, quite a bit of art and supplies, and of course lots more tools, and a piano into this shell of a house and just store it all in one room while I hole up in an upstairs room that is in decent shape. <br /><br />We'll see how much I can get done this week, but if you are in the area and reading this, AND if you like pizza and beer, please come help me this Saturday Sept 16th at 10 am. The more hands will make this virtually painless, maybe even a good time in the end!the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32959612.post-1157817346315222332006-09-09T08:01:00.000-07:002006-09-10T19:52:21.836-07:00end of the world as we know itWaiting for the storm, resting. <br /><br />My thoughts are running down and over onto each other like the large drops running down a windshield during a downpour, creating that melting effect. The world outside drips into a hallucinogenic puddle. There's nothing for keeping everything whole, together and protected, except windshield wipers that only provide for an instance of seperation and clarity. In those instances I try to write what I see, even if it's just a trickle that comes out onto a page.<br /><br /><br />What I really like about being outside with the thunder rumbles is waiting to feel it. It moves into me and shakes me momentarily. It's not a pure moment with the traffic, planes, birds, squirrels and crickets heard (and of course the city's ever present sounds of sirens), but I still feel the thunder. I anticipate a good one to grab me soon. I have never smoked cigarettes, but this is what I imagine it's like and good for; that aniticipation and moment of having something pleasing inside you.<br /><br />Pulling up after work I notice that gallon of paint behind me on the floor board came open and flooded my back seat. I decided in that instance I would like a beer, but first I must at least begin to deal with my most recent catastrophe. Luckily it only destroyed my plans drawn out on poster sized paper for a pedal powered washing machine, compost toilet and fun stuff like that, great. The can was sitting on top of all that folded up paper. After scooping it out with the drawings the rest will just leave a stain and a smell to go with the smell of the 1/2 gallon of goat's milk I spilled a few days ago that I've been driving around with.<br /> <br />I go up up to the counter afterwards, 6 pack in hand, perhaps a look on my face somewhere between haggard and grim, and my man at the counter looks me in the eye and I swear begins to sing, "it's the end of the world as we know it." I move on from the paint incident and begin to seriously contemplate this. <br /><br />It's a catchy enough song, but why? Why not? Could just be in his head? Can he tell there's something up with me from my face and what I have in hand? The daily (certain to be depresing)radio news is not on in the store to bring this on... <br /><br />As I begin to walk, I think maybe it is because he sells alcohol, cigarettes, pop and lottery tickets all day long, day after day, in a city in a country of people who do the same thing. Could that have something to do with what makes him sing aloud songs like this? But, I realize finally that the end of the world as we know it should not necessarily conjure up negative feelings, like my visualizing total annhilation. I think maybe for me it is more important that it means visualizing change. Point. It starts by changing our minds, like how we react to something and what we think about it and then after that, there's the work to do.<br /><br />I think many North Americans change their minds a lot, especially through drug use. No, really I think it's healthy to consider changing the reasons why we do drink and smoke so much, and where the end of the world as we know it might just fit in to all that. To be honest about it there's no doubt a very negative reason behind all this ending the world as we know it business. The list of what is wrong is as long as wide and it feels petty to just list off a few things on the list like genocide, the continued existence of slavery, prisons, torture, sexual assault, depression. But, with racism, sexism, and stuff like that in the air we breathe, a country I live in starting wars throughout it's existence, and so much more on this list (we won't really go into) still we must not only try to get by, but struggle against what we do know is on the list, and FOR something with hope and vision, otherwise all of humanity is doomed. I truly believe we are at that point. <br /><br />While I'm at it I might as well mention I think it is inevitable for us to fail as long as we seperate ourselves from what is good for the earth, but to the extent our species perishes, or the least fortunate and priveleged are assured to lead miserable lives and deaths...that I do not believe is inevitable. <br /><br />In taking on this house and with so many more days to look forward to, of cuts and eyes full of dirt, on the edges of what I can get away with, wondering what I am doing to my body and if it is worth it, this place I am trying to create along with so many other things- I hope I can offer up something informative, hopeful, inspiring and if not, humorous.the upsidedown househttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15747885048680320246noreply@blogger.com0